Hi Karen, I will not offer any advice - my sense is that you have immense inner wisdom, and a connection to yourself, and what feels true and right for you, that will emerge in its own time as you allow what you're feeling. Instead, I want to say how much I appreciate your honest, real, reporting from your book publication journey. To me, as someone a good many steps behind you, it is inspiring and refreshing NOT to read a 'complete narrative arc.' But the truth. As it is. From where you are, right now.
When we step towards our dreams and longings, and contribute in the ways we feel called to, it is neither a straight line nor easy, with no guarantees. You sharing what that feels like, right now, as you navigate this crossroads is a gift. Thank you.
Claire, this is beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to write this thoughtful response. I hesitated to admit that my sales have been disappointing. People might assume my book isn't good. But I decided there's no shame in it; it's a reality many authors face. You've validated for me that honesty and vulnerability resonate with people, and that's as valuable to me--if not more so--than a sale.
Oh Karen! I so appreciate your open honestly. No one does it better than you! I’m sure you will find the perfect “next steps”… maybe that’s being a great Nana! Hugs to you!
I appreciate that, Emily. I'd anticipated that when "Nana-hood" struck, that might be my primary focus. Perhaps if my grandson lived nearby, that would be the case. But since he lives a few hours away, it leaves me open for other things. Time will tell what ":other" entails!
Interesting how you are depicting retirement as a several-act operation! We always think of it as cut and dried but I can see that isn't nec the case. And I hear you re: disappointment. I'm wondering: can we avoid that by just having very very low expectations or are low expectations a version of rejecting self....?
Yes, for me retirement was (is?) like a three-act play, or maybe a book with a prologue AND epilogue, lol. Good question about expectations. I don't like the idea of having very low expectations; it does sound self-defeating and may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe the point is not to avoid disappointment but to accept it and learn from it. I appreciate your comment, Jocelyn!
Like you so generously share Karen, I continue to focus on my growth as a person through the writing journey. Sometimes refining our definition of success can shift our personal mountains.
As another reader shared, your honesty, self-awareness, and openness speak volumes as to who you are and where you might go next. 💜
I'm glad you like my sewing trio, Gail. What fun those projects were! (Well, except for the times I had to swear, lol.) You are a role model for pushing your boundaries through the creative process. I've loved witnessing your journey!
I’m just about to begin the book promotion process. I am dreading but also excited and also anticipating exhaustion. It’s unfamiliar which is probably true for all debut authors. I keep trying to remember how many years I spent in the very familiar place of submitting and rejection and then I appreciate feeling unfamiliar 🙂
I really appreciate this post! And for what it’s worth I loved your book and am glad you wrote and brought it to the world.
I just read a review of your book today and it sounds awesome, Ginny! I hope it is so successful, disappointment is not even on your radar. Thank you for your kind words, and for commenting. Good luck to you as well.
Aw, thanks, Polly! It was truly an honor to be on Radio Health Journal. And maybe it did help with sales. My publisher didn't provide regular sales tracking data, so I was always in the dark. They say most consumers need multiple exposures to an item before they buy, so I looked at every opportunity as one step closer to a sale. Thank you for giving me that step. :)
Karen, Many thanks to you for your deeply honest post (as always) about the trials of writers trying to make a dent in the publishing world. You have been truly successful, and I am singing your praises. You wrote a beautiful, meaningful memoir that has so much to teach in its vulnerability, wisdom, and importance. Brava! Obviously, the Writer's Digest understands the disappointments along the way and also "gets" your ability to laugh. (I desperately wanted to go to the library that night, but then you wouldn't have had an empty room with shining floors!)
I want to say that you have an enormous amount to share and a beautiful heart to show the world, and I am deeply grateful and happier for your words and stories. I learn a lot from you, and all I can say is a big thank you. Also, whatever comes next will be great, I'm sure. I'm hungry for it.
Congratulations on baby Miles! Great news. You are an amazing grandma--what beautiful booties and hat.
Many thanks to you, Marea, for this thoughtful comment and your kind compliments. VERY kind. I'm blushing. I had a few friends who had planned to attend the library event but canceled at the last minute. I'm so glad they all had other things to do that night, including you!
Love you back, Mimi. I have loved sharing this journey with you, especially seeing you climb all those mountains...literal and figurative. You are an inspiration.
I’m sorry to hear about the disappointment… and I know it well. My second book has had disappointing results too, getting far less attention than the first. I thought I knew something about publishing and selling books after the first one, so it caught me by surprise when far fewer people paid attention to the second one (even though I felt like I’d dug even deeper in the writing of the second). Who knows why some books catch on and others don’t? I sure don’t.
Thanks for your comment, Heather, and I'm sorry to hear about your second book's disappointing results. WTF?? This book publishing space is an enigma. Your experience gives me pause, not that I plan a second book, but if I did, I certainly would hope for a better return than my first. I hope your book picks up steam with time.
Karen, you and Gail are both my idols in terms of what you both have done and examples of how incredibly hard it is to make it as a writer. Plus how frustrating it is to market. Yet I see what you both have done (in very different ways with very different books) and somehow I feel a twinge of pride because I met you both when you were just getting started, I've gotten to watch you both in your writing (and marketing) journeys, and it just feels cool knowing you both. 💚
Side note: those sewing projects ROCK! DAMN, woman! 😳
Aw, Jack. You're the sweetest, as always. I think it's so cool that we all met on Medium, stayed in touch all these years, and one by one became published authors!! Also, I'm glad you liked my sewing!
I get the envy and disappointment thing and I think book promotion is just completely draining! I think it helps me to just focus on something else — be it a different writing project or hobby.
I also heard one piece of advice that resonated: What would you enjoy doing even if you knew you would fail at it?
So I’m trying to think about that in relationship to some projects — what would be enjoyable to work on without focus on the end results. But also just enjoy some downtime/a break it that feels right!
I love that question, Julie--What would you enjoy doing even if you knew you would fail at it? I can't say I enjoyed writing my book, but I felt so strongly that I needed to do it, deep in my soul, I believe I would have proceeded even if it sold only 1 copy. That would have been HUGELY disappointing, but still purposeful. Someday I'll write an essay about "low-stakes creating," which my sewing projects have been. They are fun and failsafe distractions!
When I get stuck, I like to shake things up. Maybe it’s literal shaking or dancing. But it also might be learning/trying something random: a stand-up class, an art talk, a community gathering.
Unsticking through novelty in one area of life can give you a fresh perspective and clarify your next move in another. (I just got unstuck today & met a potential partner for a passion project.) Good luck!
Great idea, Elizabeth- thank you! I'm going to do that--look for something entirely new. Maybe I'll write about it in my next newsletter. And your passion project sounds exciting. I wish you the best with it!
Thanks for commenting, Marisa. I think my gut is telling me that a clear path will unfold; I just have to be patient. So I will be. And thank you for your excitement!
Back at ya about writing a beautiful and helpful book, Joelle. I'm glad you found peace in letting go. I know I'll get there. I only recently got my sales and royalty numbers (yes, 19 months after my book release...long story...) so in time, I'll find that peace also. Thanks so much for your comment.
Congrats, triple times!! Hang in there. I bet you’ll figure it out! I think you’re a great editor—I bet you could improve my book if you edited it yet again!!! Loved your newsletter this month. Best!!
You're so encouraging, DeWayne. Thanks as always! I'm super stoked for your own release very soon. You're a great writer and story-teller and I'm hoping for many big wins for you. We'll talk about the editing... it's tempting...
I so empathize with you and the disappointment of having our creations out there with it seems little return. I understand the tight rope between cheering author friends, yet feeling envious. Almost to the point of a pity party because I buy their novels, share on my Facebook page and cheer for them, but don’t see a reciprocal response.
So, I take a big breath and push forward. I don’t want to lose my gratitude or quit living by the law of generosity. I keep the faith.
Congratulations on the new grandchild. Another thing for me to be envious about. But it’s ok. Blessings.
Thanks for this thoughtful comment, Mollie. Literary citizenship does sometimes feel one-sided. I also call it writing karma. Keep putting the good energy out there, Mollie, and karma will be on your side. I want to empathize with your feeling envious of my grandson. I get it. I have friends and relatives who, for various reasons, won't ever have children or grandchildren. When I mention the true privilege of a having a grandchild, I'm aware that it may cause others to feel sad. I'm acknowledging that very real and human response.
Maybe I was joking? It is a complicated situation. Grandchildren are such a blessing. I see them making people younger. Someday I will share my story, but for now, it has to remain silent. But truly, I rejoice with you.
Hi Karen, I will not offer any advice - my sense is that you have immense inner wisdom, and a connection to yourself, and what feels true and right for you, that will emerge in its own time as you allow what you're feeling. Instead, I want to say how much I appreciate your honest, real, reporting from your book publication journey. To me, as someone a good many steps behind you, it is inspiring and refreshing NOT to read a 'complete narrative arc.' But the truth. As it is. From where you are, right now.
When we step towards our dreams and longings, and contribute in the ways we feel called to, it is neither a straight line nor easy, with no guarantees. You sharing what that feels like, right now, as you navigate this crossroads is a gift. Thank you.
Claire, this is beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to write this thoughtful response. I hesitated to admit that my sales have been disappointing. People might assume my book isn't good. But I decided there's no shame in it; it's a reality many authors face. You've validated for me that honesty and vulnerability resonate with people, and that's as valuable to me--if not more so--than a sale.
Karen, I've only just seen this :) Thank you for replying. And modelling this yet again. You are spot on. Honesty and vulnerability are powerful.
What a beautiful and insightful response! 💜
I agree, Gail!!
💜
Oh Karen! I so appreciate your open honestly. No one does it better than you! I’m sure you will find the perfect “next steps”… maybe that’s being a great Nana! Hugs to you!
I appreciate that, Emily. I'd anticipated that when "Nana-hood" struck, that might be my primary focus. Perhaps if my grandson lived nearby, that would be the case. But since he lives a few hours away, it leaves me open for other things. Time will tell what ":other" entails!
Interesting how you are depicting retirement as a several-act operation! We always think of it as cut and dried but I can see that isn't nec the case. And I hear you re: disappointment. I'm wondering: can we avoid that by just having very very low expectations or are low expectations a version of rejecting self....?
Yes, for me retirement was (is?) like a three-act play, or maybe a book with a prologue AND epilogue, lol. Good question about expectations. I don't like the idea of having very low expectations; it does sound self-defeating and may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe the point is not to avoid disappointment but to accept it and learn from it. I appreciate your comment, Jocelyn!
The hat, booties and mittens — oh my!
Like you so generously share Karen, I continue to focus on my growth as a person through the writing journey. Sometimes refining our definition of success can shift our personal mountains.
As another reader shared, your honesty, self-awareness, and openness speak volumes as to who you are and where you might go next. 💜
I'm glad you like my sewing trio, Gail. What fun those projects were! (Well, except for the times I had to swear, lol.) You are a role model for pushing your boundaries through the creative process. I've loved witnessing your journey!
Hi Karen
I’m just about to begin the book promotion process. I am dreading but also excited and also anticipating exhaustion. It’s unfamiliar which is probably true for all debut authors. I keep trying to remember how many years I spent in the very familiar place of submitting and rejection and then I appreciate feeling unfamiliar 🙂
I really appreciate this post! And for what it’s worth I loved your book and am glad you wrote and brought it to the world.
Enjoy Nanahood - it’s wonderful.
I just read a review of your book today and it sounds awesome, Ginny! I hope it is so successful, disappointment is not even on your radar. Thank you for your kind words, and for commenting. Good luck to you as well.
And you've all been featured on Radio Health Journal or Viewpoints. Sorry it didn't help with the sales. Oprah, we are not!
Aw, thanks, Polly! It was truly an honor to be on Radio Health Journal. And maybe it did help with sales. My publisher didn't provide regular sales tracking data, so I was always in the dark. They say most consumers need multiple exposures to an item before they buy, so I looked at every opportunity as one step closer to a sale. Thank you for giving me that step. :)
Karen, Many thanks to you for your deeply honest post (as always) about the trials of writers trying to make a dent in the publishing world. You have been truly successful, and I am singing your praises. You wrote a beautiful, meaningful memoir that has so much to teach in its vulnerability, wisdom, and importance. Brava! Obviously, the Writer's Digest understands the disappointments along the way and also "gets" your ability to laugh. (I desperately wanted to go to the library that night, but then you wouldn't have had an empty room with shining floors!)
I want to say that you have an enormous amount to share and a beautiful heart to show the world, and I am deeply grateful and happier for your words and stories. I learn a lot from you, and all I can say is a big thank you. Also, whatever comes next will be great, I'm sure. I'm hungry for it.
Congratulations on baby Miles! Great news. You are an amazing grandma--what beautiful booties and hat.
Many thanks to you, Marea, for this thoughtful comment and your kind compliments. VERY kind. I'm blushing. I had a few friends who had planned to attend the library event but canceled at the last minute. I'm so glad they all had other things to do that night, including you!
Love you Karen, and am right beside you with the hopes and disappointments of this publishing journey, sharing our Writer’s Tears!
Love you back, Mimi. I have loved sharing this journey with you, especially seeing you climb all those mountains...literal and figurative. You are an inspiration.
I’m sorry to hear about the disappointment… and I know it well. My second book has had disappointing results too, getting far less attention than the first. I thought I knew something about publishing and selling books after the first one, so it caught me by surprise when far fewer people paid attention to the second one (even though I felt like I’d dug even deeper in the writing of the second). Who knows why some books catch on and others don’t? I sure don’t.
Thanks for your comment, Heather, and I'm sorry to hear about your second book's disappointing results. WTF?? This book publishing space is an enigma. Your experience gives me pause, not that I plan a second book, but if I did, I certainly would hope for a better return than my first. I hope your book picks up steam with time.
Karen, you and Gail are both my idols in terms of what you both have done and examples of how incredibly hard it is to make it as a writer. Plus how frustrating it is to market. Yet I see what you both have done (in very different ways with very different books) and somehow I feel a twinge of pride because I met you both when you were just getting started, I've gotten to watch you both in your writing (and marketing) journeys, and it just feels cool knowing you both. 💚
Side note: those sewing projects ROCK! DAMN, woman! 😳
Aw, Jack. You're the sweetest, as always. I think it's so cool that we all met on Medium, stayed in touch all these years, and one by one became published authors!! Also, I'm glad you liked my sewing!
I get the envy and disappointment thing and I think book promotion is just completely draining! I think it helps me to just focus on something else — be it a different writing project or hobby.
I also heard one piece of advice that resonated: What would you enjoy doing even if you knew you would fail at it?
So I’m trying to think about that in relationship to some projects — what would be enjoyable to work on without focus on the end results. But also just enjoy some downtime/a break it that feels right!
I love that question, Julie--What would you enjoy doing even if you knew you would fail at it? I can't say I enjoyed writing my book, but I felt so strongly that I needed to do it, deep in my soul, I believe I would have proceeded even if it sold only 1 copy. That would have been HUGELY disappointing, but still purposeful. Someday I'll write an essay about "low-stakes creating," which my sewing projects have been. They are fun and failsafe distractions!
When I get stuck, I like to shake things up. Maybe it’s literal shaking or dancing. But it also might be learning/trying something random: a stand-up class, an art talk, a community gathering.
Unsticking through novelty in one area of life can give you a fresh perspective and clarify your next move in another. (I just got unstuck today & met a potential partner for a passion project.) Good luck!
Great idea, Elizabeth- thank you! I'm going to do that--look for something entirely new. Maybe I'll write about it in my next newsletter. And your passion project sounds exciting. I wish you the best with it!
I'm sorry you're feeling stuck, Karen. I'm not sure that I'd know what to do if I were in that situation, but go with your gut if you're able.
Congrats on your new grandchild and on the Writer's Digest article! : )
Thanks for commenting, Marisa. I think my gut is telling me that a clear path will unfold; I just have to be patient. So I will be. And thank you for your excitement!
Happy news about baby Miles! 😍
When I stopped worrying about sales numbers, I found peace in my work. Yours is beautiful and so very helpful, Karen. 💛
Back at ya about writing a beautiful and helpful book, Joelle. I'm glad you found peace in letting go. I know I'll get there. I only recently got my sales and royalty numbers (yes, 19 months after my book release...long story...) so in time, I'll find that peace also. Thanks so much for your comment.
Wow, that is a long time! I didn’t realize you had only just received sakes figures.
Thank you for your kind words, Karen!
Congrats, triple times!! Hang in there. I bet you’ll figure it out! I think you’re a great editor—I bet you could improve my book if you edited it yet again!!! Loved your newsletter this month. Best!!
You're so encouraging, DeWayne. Thanks as always! I'm super stoked for your own release very soon. You're a great writer and story-teller and I'm hoping for many big wins for you. We'll talk about the editing... it's tempting...
Let’s do. Thanks for all that, though . . .I’m unsure about that middle part. Still learning!!
I so empathize with you and the disappointment of having our creations out there with it seems little return. I understand the tight rope between cheering author friends, yet feeling envious. Almost to the point of a pity party because I buy their novels, share on my Facebook page and cheer for them, but don’t see a reciprocal response.
So, I take a big breath and push forward. I don’t want to lose my gratitude or quit living by the law of generosity. I keep the faith.
Congratulations on the new grandchild. Another thing for me to be envious about. But it’s ok. Blessings.
Thanks for this thoughtful comment, Mollie. Literary citizenship does sometimes feel one-sided. I also call it writing karma. Keep putting the good energy out there, Mollie, and karma will be on your side. I want to empathize with your feeling envious of my grandson. I get it. I have friends and relatives who, for various reasons, won't ever have children or grandchildren. When I mention the true privilege of a having a grandchild, I'm aware that it may cause others to feel sad. I'm acknowledging that very real and human response.
Maybe I was joking? It is a complicated situation. Grandchildren are such a blessing. I see them making people younger. Someday I will share my story, but for now, it has to remain silent. But truly, I rejoice with you.